Mental health care should be as daily and normal as brushing your teeth

Mental health means taking care of your mind like you would take care of your body on a daily basis. It’s as important to care for yourself mentally as it is to brush your teeth – and it should be as normal as that too.

A friend put this thought into my mind the other day and I just can’t shake it. This week I truly found out exactly where my stress limits are and how I feel when I hit them. This friend gave me heck for not scheduling in time for myself like I schedule in other work. And she’s completely right.

I’ve always struggled with anxiety, depression and psychosis and I will for the rest of my life. Some days are better than others that’s for sure. And some seem downright impossible. I’ve learned through trail and error some tools to help me get through the tough times, and how to handle fits of emotion when they come uncontrollably. But i’ve rarely given much thought to how I should be taking care of myself so those fits don’t happen in the first place.

Schedule time for yourself. Consider it a preemptive measure the way you start taking cold medication or drinking a ton of OJ when you feel a cold coming on to try and keep it at bay. Do the same thing with your mind, and maybe you won’t hit those limits.

In our busy lives of school, work, and other obligations we plan plan plan how to manage those, and often put them above all others. Newsflash: none of that is going to get done if you’re not around to do it. So take care of yourself so that you ARE. You are just as, if not MORE important than the work on your plate.

I wish taking “mental health days” was a more prominent part of our society. It could help so many people with their quality of life, and probably make them much more productive as well. (Hint Hint to all the bosses out there…)

Today I finally said no to doing something extra. I felt guilty at first, but then I had to shake myself. I deserve a little time for myself. I NEED a little time for myself.

Now I’m really proud of myself. It was a big moment for me and i’m glad I took it.

I encourage all of you to do it as well. Make a date with yourself. Schedule it into your agenda…IN INK. And make it a non negotiable. You’ll thank yourself for doing it.

 

“You’re stressed? Me too!” and 5 other phrases you don’t want to hear when you’re about to lose it

‘Tis the season for exams, final projects, presentations and stress.

The piling stress pushes you to let it out and vent to your classmate or colleague, which can be therapeutic. But then, instead of an attentive ear, they offer you one of these phrases that make you cringe inside.

To be fair, your listener may not have wanted you to download, or maybe they were just being polite, and now they don’t know how to respond to your venting session. So, ear-lenders – listen up! Here are five phrases to avoid:

1.”Everything happens for a reason…”

Stress, anxiety, depression, you name it… these are not things we wish upon ourselves, or anyone for that matter! The idea that these things were predetermined for us is a little daunting. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you feel like your world is spiralling downward. Trying to help us see that light, or the positive in our struggle when we’re just not ready to hear it? No thanks. Not to mention this cliche phrase has lost almost all meaning and sounds more like a robotic answer from someone who’s not even listening to what you’re saying.

2.”But you’re always so together! You seem fine!”

No kidding we seem fine! We’re internalizing our worries and letting them fester in our minds so that it doesn’t show physically. Chances are if we’re venting to you, it’s because we can’t keep it in any longer and we’re looking for a sympathetic shoulder. If you tell me “You seem fine,” then you must not be listening because I’m clearly telling you that I am not “fine”. (“FINE = Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional” – The Italian Job)

3.”Just think about something else…”

It’s not that simple. I repeat, it’s NOT that simple. Maybe it is to you, but it’s not to me. Anxiety is all consuming and occupies every corner of your mind. Brushing it off like this feels like your saying our feelings are legitimate. And again, shows you’re not listening and don’t care about helping us. Even though so many people are crippled by mental health concerns, they can feel isolated and alone. Reaching out may not be an easy thing to do, so throw us a bone. Please don’t make us feel any worse than we already do, and like our anxious thoughts aren’t valid.

4.”You just need to relax, have a drink!”

I don’t think this one needs too much explaining. It may seem light hearted but raised bigger concerns about dependency on drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms. This is a whole other dark can of worms in itself, and a really slippery slope. Besides, if we could ‘just relax’, believe me we would.

5.”Me too!”

This is a sneaky one. When the anxious person is looking to vent, they’re also looking for understanding. When someone is vented to, they’re trying to relate to offer that level on understanding. But that where this phrase can go wrong. Everyone has different tolerance levels, and what I deem as ‘extreme stress’, may not be a big deal to someone else. I recently told a classmate that I felt so anxious and stressed out that it was starting to affect my school work.

They simply replied with “OMG me too!”, and talked about their big issue that didn’t equate to what I was feeling.

Opening up is hard, and since I was half way there I tried again… “No, I really mean it, I’m really scared, I’ve never felt like this before.”

To which they simply continued to try and relate to. So now my outreach and subtle cry for help has gone unanswered, I feel like I’m still not being heard, and I feel like my feelings aren’t important. Now, the listener probably doesn’t have a clue that this phrase is doing more harm than good. They probably feel like they’re helping you. Maybe they’re not the best person to vent to if they’re not that interested in your well being. Or maybe they’re trying to vent back to you and need your ear just as much as you need them. It’s important to realize that there aren’t many people who are just out to get you, do remember to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Sad But Rad: Wear Your Label

It’s okay to be sad.

Really.

wearyourlabel.com

Recognizing this and truly believing in it can have a strong impact on how you mange your sad days. Tell yourself that it’s okay to have a bad day. It’s okay to want to curl up in bed and watch Netflix for hours. It’s okay to turn off your phone and ignore the world.

But don’t forget the balance. Taking a day to yourself might be just what your mind and body need to rejuvenate – but not leaving your bed for weeks on end isn’t the answer.

Own your sad days.

“1 in 5 people live with mental illness, but 5 in 5 have mental health. So why aren’t we talking about it?”

That’s exactly what the creators of Wear Your Label are saying. Kayley and Kyle were both suffering from mental health concerns when they teamed up to fight the stigma of mental illness though fashion. And it’s brilliant.

wearyourlabel.com

Through clever sayings on t shirts and tank tops, Wear Your Label encourages those struggling with their mental health to take ownership of the conversation and not let the stigma define them.

Wear Your Label is living art fighting mental illness one t shirt at a time.

And they’re rad.